The “Dirty” Side of Bus Driving

Last Saturday night was one that I won’t soon forget. I drive a half-shift on Saturdays that just runs from 8 pm to 12:30, basically just to keep the buses from getting clogged by all the students going downtown to party. I’ve been kind of apprehensive about the shift since it started, but until last week it’s just been a really boring shift. Nothing happens, I drive then go home. But last week must have been the perfect storm of conditions that give me problems.

First, it snowed that day. Well, as much as Clemson SC gets snow. It really just lightly coated the ground and started icing over the bridges. But I was kind of excited about the snow because I figured that most people would stay indoors that night.MISTAKE # 1. I had forgotten that snow turns college students back into kids. Snow + College Students + Alcohol = NOT GOOD. As I was driving towards Clemson on my first loop of the route a non-descriptive car passes me going the opposite way, which I don’t get a good look at because of the eggs thrown at maximum velocity into my windshield. The eggs then begin freezing on my windshield and the crappy windshield wipers in that particular bus just can’t quite keep up. I pull over and wipe as much of it off as I can, radio into headquarters and report the incident, and keep moving. Over the next 20 minutes or so at least two other buses get the same guerrilla-style treatment. I thought that the excitement was over for the night, as it still wasn’t particularly busy. MISTAKE #2.

Just as I started the last half-hour of my shift, my bus filled up with loud, and probably slightly intoxicated students. Several young women decided to go downtown for one girl’s 21 birthday. When this was discovered by the rest of the bus, hysteria followed. A chorus of happy birthday’s filled the bus, all culminating in the birthday girls getting a complimentary lap dance from a guy who looked more than happy to oblige her. While driving through downtown I thought that most of the people would be getting off at the stop in front of the bars, but I was wrong again. Apparently an off-campus frat-house was having a massive party and most of Clemson’s student population was invited. My bus filled up the closer I got to the frat-house and I actually had to stop letting people on the bus, I actually HAD to leave some of them on the side of the road because there was absolutely no more room on my bus. When I got to the party my bus completely emptied, students were stumbling off left and right, except for one Chinese guy who had a startled look on his face. We kind of laughed to each other, I took him home, and then my shift ended.

Definitely another night that I probably won’t ever forget.